I love being a Mum.
I feel privileged to have a child in my life. She is one of the best teachers in my life. She teaches me huge things about myself.
In her presence, I have found the opportunity to learn how to deal with things and myself, only in one way, with “LOVE”.
In her presence, I am learning to be very kind and gentle with myself and others.
She is giving me the opportunity to have patience with love and care.
She is helping me to be wiser and I choose to be a wiser mum in every opportunity.
She makes me grow up by pushing me to be in the grey areas of life for grown ups rather than being in just black or white from a childhood habit.
I have learnt the real meaning of being an “ adult” by not fighting with her, instead I take my adult position and deal with issues in an adult way.
I have found an opportunity to be easy going with myself and not to punish myself or to be harsh on myself when things are not going the way I want. I have stopped expecting her to behave perfectly like an adult (even though I am not perfect).
I have learnt that life doesn’t have to be serious to be upset with the small stuff. She has taught me that I can have fun no matter what happens and find the funny side of the accidents.
I practice more saying, “I am sorry” in her presence. Also, I say sorry to her when I make a mistake. Now she learns to say sorry easily, she thinks that she is not losing anything, instead she is gaining goodness.
I have learnt when she delays things or has no motivation that I need to encourage her and tell her how good she is for her to get motivation back again.
I made her believe that she is amazing, fantastic, talented, capable, smart, and beautiful in every opportunity so that I can heal the wound in me, because I didn’t really believe in myself enough for many years of my life.
I let her be a learner the same as myself.
I found a way to explain to her about my responsibilities of being a mum, so that she can understand me when I say NO. My responsibility is to guide her in life, protect her, take care of her, and teach her my experience. So in her little world, she is not lost by trying to understand why mum does this and that. She knows that as a mum I have some responsibilities rather than her thinking, I am overriding her. She knows very well that I don’t do this but only that I love her and she is so precious to me.
I didn’t make her discover for herself the reason for my many actions so she didn’t become resistant to me and to the world she is in. I explained every reason so that she can also learn from it. Now I have a teacher at home which she reminds me what to do. She started to create strategies on her own and explore her own intelligence.
I discovered how important it is not to talk negatively in daily life while she has negative words about herself and stuff. So I explained to her that words and thoughts are energy. Because 80% of our body is water and water has memory; it gets all the forms of energy. When we talk negatively we turn negative and ugly inside us and we create more negativity in our lives. Like the water crystals. (Watch the video- http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html)
She knows very very well who is the boss at home. But I allow her to be a decision maker in many things. So we share the management of our lives.
I let her be a child, act like a child and be herself and do things in her own way. In her presence, I have found a chance to practice this everyday for myself too. She teaches me to find more and more fun by being a child every single day.
When she was 2 years old, I was in a hurry to do something; I guess subconsciously I put my face down. She saw that and she put her hand on my forehead, corrected my face and made a smiley face on me. I was stunned in that moment! That was the moment, I accept that she is an old soul and she will teach me a lot in this life. From that day on, I accept her as an individual and respect her. I allow myself to hear more from her. She became my friend very early on.
She made me sure about one reality. Whatever happens in a family, you only have love for them. We are not smaller than issues. Our love is big enough to cover all the mistakes. She knows 100% that whatever she does, she is loved.
I always told her, you don’t need to be perfect, no one can be in reality. You can only do your best because you want to use most of the capacity you have. I had to deal with my perfectionism, because I was trying to be the best to get enough attention and love. I pushed myself so hard.
I praised her for making an effort after every activity we do, so that she can enjoy challenges and learn from it, become resilient. I didn’t want to fix her mind to winning only. I know how exhausting it is to get an approval by only winning and achieved.
I told her always to be happy with what she has and appreciate little things in life. This is the way to be happy.
Don’t waste. So she can be mindful about her spending and what she already has and be grateful what she has.
I taught her other people can not put her down, or talk negatively about her; if they did then stay away from them by thinking they need some time to sort themselves out. You are the boss of yourself. No one can decide who you are or what you need to do. I did make sure that this sunk in for her. I struggled a lot in the past because of other people’s opinion of me. I became defensive in me or outside while I have all my right to believe who I am or what I want. And I definitely don’t need permission to be like that.
I said to her we don’t have to agree on everything, we might have some different perception on things. That means we give different flavours to life and learn other perspectives. In that way, she doesn’t need to say ok or yes to everything to be accepted. She has her own voice. So do I, finally!
I said every time to her “it is noooot the end of the world!”. There are plenty of other ways. It’s because life is giving you the opportunity to pamper yourself and find out how smart and capable you are by finding a solution again and again. Things should be just like that sometimes as an opportunity, and you need to learn to let go…..I am still learning to letting go.
I gave her big love and told her many times each day how much I love her so that she doesn’t need to outsource this in her life, like I did. She felt loved and fulfilled at home.